Chronic Illness flare up

I am very, very ill and need to reach out to more people.

Ulcerative Colitis, flare up since before Christmas,. Got too much for me last week, called 111, told me to go to a&e. Hell.

Lost 2 stone in weight in the past few weeks. Struggling to eat, partly because I cannot get up easily, or stand up for too long.

Going to the toilet is an ordeal. Sometimes not quite making it, squirting blood down my leg onto carpet.

I just wanted my peppermint tea earlier. Went to toilet, filled up mug with water for kettle. Back to room. Boiled kettle. Started blacking out, kettle getting heavy and falling, realised bad idea. Managed to get across to the bed before I passed out. Didn’t quite pass out, needed to change position so I didn’t shit the bed.

Finally managed to get my peppermint tea, so that’s a success. Managed to shower last night after a week, clean hair nice.

Feel and look disgusting. Need a shave. No dignity.

On immune suppressant drugs, scared to go to a&e again as it might kill me.