A Musician Interview With.... Myself

Since I seem to enjoy answering questions, and I may never get the chance for someone in the music press to interview me, I thought I’d have a go at interviewing myself using some recommended musician questions I found on the Internet.

How did you first get into music?

My Dad was a drummer in pub bands, my Mum was pregnant with me and so sometimes went to his gigs where I no doubt mostly heard the bass guitar and bass drum, while effectively smoking several packets of cigarettes. Obviously I can’t say whether or not I got into any of the music at the time.

I did carry on going to gigs after I was born, and probably got into music more around the age of 5 or 6, which was around the time I first sat and attempted to play a drum kit.

At 7 years old, someone bought me a Bontempi organ, one of those powered by a fan which blew air through different reeds to make the sound. It was with this that I started recording music, which I did on a reel-to-reel tape recorder. I made ‘radio shows’ with a friend and used the organ for jingles.

What instruments can you play?

People have often asked me if I can play a particular instrument, sometimes I’ve answered “no”, and then picked up the instrument and played it. I think the issue I’ve had is that I held myself to other people’s standards, but, for example, with the guitar, I can barely play in standard tuning (I actually really don’t like it), so I play in alternate tunings such as DADGAD. I think I’ve avoided saying “yes I can play guitar” because I don’t want people to assume I’m able to pick one up and even be able to play some of the most basic songs that people learn to play guitar on.

When I was about 7 years old, I think I tried having a couple of guitar lessons, I hated it. I hated it because a) I don’t like people telling me what to do, b) my fingers were too small really, and c) forming chords in standard tuning feels really uncomfortable.

It wasn’t until much later in life, after I gave up trying to learn guitar like most people do, that I retuned my guitar, and just did what I wanted with it, then found I enjoyed it, and so did other people.

If I simply class being able to play an instrument, based on whether or not I can make a reasonable sound out of it, but actually, I think I’m generally very good at doing things in my own way, then the answer to “what instruments do you play?” is as follows:

Drums, percussion, keyboards, piano, electric piano, organ, synthesiser, xylophone, zither, mandolin, ukulele, acoustic guitar, electric guitar (6 string and 4 string tenor guitar), classical guitar, bass guitar, Greek bouzouki, sitar, blues harp (harmonica, which I taught myself to play in a couple of days after someone bought me one for Christmas), kalimba, penny whistle, theremin.

If I listed all the percussion I can play it’d go on a lot longer.

There are instruments I’ve tried playing but struggle with, things like Saxophone, but it’s probably more a case of lack of opportunity.

Where do you see your musical career in 10 years?

The same as it is now, non-existent. I am pretty much resigned to being an ‘amateur’ musician. I’ll likely be doing what I’m doing now, which is hanging around with my mandolin playing it to strangers, or doing open mics. I hope I’ll be producing more music though, I’d still love to make a vinyl record, and I would like to have a band again.

Which instrument is your favourite to play?

My answer should probably be mandolin, since it’s now my main tuned instrument. It’s nice and easy to carry around, and the sound is pretty versatile in a way (I often finger pick it, which is fairly rare). It helps me ground myself.

On the other hand, playing a drum kit (the instrument I’ve played the longest) is a particularly uniquely enjoyable experience, I think it’s the physical nature of it, and there’s something really satisfying about co-ordinating all of my limbs in a different way at the same time, plus techniques with sticks and brushes against the skin.

Then there’s bass guitar, which I’ve been playing since 1989, I find very easy, satisfying, fun, and really stands out for people when jamming.

Which instrument is your least favourite to play?

Greek Bouzouki, but only because it’s a bowl back, and it really difficult to keep in position when standing up.

What would you say is your greatest strength as an artist?

My ability to improvise. I grew up doing jam sessions, so it’s very much in my background. However, for years, particularly when I started up my solo project properly, I put a lot of investment into coming up with a set of songs, not just into the songs themselves, but the order of the set. I can get hyper-focused with it, and then fatigued. What then started happening, possibly due to anxiety and neurodivergence, was that I got on stage, and my brain just panicked, and I forgot everything I had learnt. It used to happen with bands, but usually I had other musicians who might start a song off which would remind me of what I should be doing. Instead I was stood on my own, in front of a crowd, and getting very anxious because I wasn’t doing anything.

How I got myself out of this predicament, rather than running off stage, was in the only way I could: to improvise.

What I found was, it was easy, and actually, no-one realised I was even improvising!

I even improvised my lyrics (I was somewhat used to creating songs this way) and I’ve got a lot better at it, I have themes to call on, and can now think ahead and rhyme (where appropriate). I had people coming up to me after gigs, asking me about a particular lyric they heard, and I had no clue what they were talking about. They might ask me what it meant, and my answer is, I don’t know, it means what it means to them.

What would you say is your greatest weakness as an artist?

Perfectionism. Actually this isn’t simply a weakness as an artist. I have something called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD, which is not the same as OCD). It’s about a lack of trust in myself, self doubt, and a trying to get everything perfect to avoid rejection (since I also have a serious fear of rejection).

The result of this perfectionism, is that I may fail to complete things. This is bad enough when I am working on my solo music, but particularly hard on relationships with band members. We might spend a lot of time and effort creating an album, but then I can hold everything up by trying to get my parts perfect. I have a particular problem with vocals, since I have traditionally hated my voice, though everyone else things it’s amazing. All of the music can sound brilliant as an instrumental, but then it comes to doing my vocals, and I can’t bear it. I might enjoy singing, but listening back to my voice can send me into a very dark place. It even worse if I’m doing the mixing and production, since I will have to listen to my voice in isolation.

One answer here is to have someone else do mixing etc. The problem there is that another trait of my OCPD, is that I struggle to let other people do things for me.

Who is your favourite musician?

I don’t think I have a favourite musician. Perhaps if I break it down by instrument, it’s easier. However, my main instrument these days is mandolin, and I don’t really know of any mandolin players enough to say I like them.

Drums is probably easier to name favourite drummers, or at least firstly rock drummers, since I’m from a rock background. Not sure about a favourite, but I think of the drummers from the 1960s and 1970s, such as John Bonham (Led Zeppelin) and Bill Ward (Black Sabbath). Then again, I love Jazz, I’ve got more into Jazz as I’ve got older, particularly late 60s and 70s stuff, but sadly I can’t name any drummers.

Bass guitar is also probably a similar situation, John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin), Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath), but then I also love jazz, and I love reggae, particularly Roots and Dub, for which the bass is crucial.

Guitarists? Probably Jimi Hendrix. Peter Green (early Fleetwood Mac) who wasn’t technically great but the feeling in his playing was beautiful, there are a few others and probably you can guess some.

My most influential singers is an interesting one, primarily my favourite singers are women. Possibly my favourite singer is Elizabeth Fraser (Cocteau Twins), then there’s Deborah Harry, Siouxsie Sioux, PJ Harvey, Beth Gibbon (Portishead).

I love Curtis Mayfield’s music, he was a great songwriter, singer, and guitarist.

What is your proudest accomplishment as a musician?

I think becoming a front person for a band for the first time. It’s quite a move going from being mostly the bass player in bands, to being ‘up front’ playing the bass and singing. It’s quite nerve racking and feels like I have more responsibility, but also it can feel more powerful. Really I think it’s a move from being a musician to more of a performer. The same can be said of the time I started playing solo, even more so perhaps, as there’s rarely anyone else there on stage with me. This can be a very difficult situation for someone who may appear confident, but inside is barely holding things together.

What interests or hobbies do you have outside of music?

My primary interest in life is people and relationships, I am fascinated by how we connect (or don’t connect). I love the subjects of psychology, and therapy.

In terms of hobbies though, I generally enjoy creativity, and I love video production, and photography.

I also just love walking (when I feel safe) and being in nature, in forests, or on the shore by the sea (and generally I combine music with this).

What is your creative process when making music?

I generally like to have processes and structure, but actually, when it comes to music, it starts off pretty spontaneous, without any process or structure.

If I feel motivated, I pick up an instrument and play it.

If I feel motivated to record, then it becomes something else. It depends on the recording situation. In the simplest terms, I may sit on the beach, set up my phone, and improvise (usually mandolin). That recording may sit in the memory for a while, but then I may revisit it and decide that I’d like share it with people. I then do some video editing, colour grading etc, and upload it.

Since I’ve been no fixed abode I’ve not had access to my good home studio set up, instead I mostly use my iPad, and it’s quite liberating. For example, back in early 2023 I had Covid, but managed to catch some motivation to record some music. So I sat in bed with my iPad and audio interface, set up some drum beats, plugged in my mandolin, and started recording. I found a ‘hook’ and worked with it, layering on other sounds, mostly using the software on the iPad, plus a small wireless keyboard controller. I then took that recording, chopped it up a bit (usually the results are a bit long and need editing down). Then I made a video for the music, for that I played the music through piece of visualisation software which converts audio to some interesting visual patterns, recorded that, and then edited that video. I used some extra video filters too, then saved the whole lot as a music video and uploaded it.

With my full home studio setup, I used to get motivation, I had microphones set up anyway (including the Glynn Johns 4 microphone set up on the drum kit), I’d get the spark of an idea, start up Pro Tools, and just record and see where it took me. Usually it’d be a whole day or so of recording (possibly forgetting to eat or even go to the toilet), as I went around different instruments layering them on. I’d probably end up with 20 tracks (maybe including buses, and multiple mandolin tracks), which then was a bit of a headache to mix, but I’d also disappear down that rabbit hole as it can be very enjoyable. Hopefully, if I hadn’t given up due to fatigue, after days of doing several mixes, I’d end up with something I felt was good enough to put out. Though in reality, much of the time, I put in all that effort, I’d get fatigued, start to not like what I’ve done, and the whole recording would sit in the corner of a hard drive for months on end. This might be until one day I’d sift through the contents of my hard drive, and discover something good, start working on it again, until I had something I felt was good enough.

I have a whole album of those kind of recording sessions, called The Rise Of The Seventh House.

Tell me about your top performances.

I can’t remember any specific ‘top performances’. Maybe most of them are top performances. I can describe what a top performance feels like though. It’s the performance which starts off with me feeling very nervous and jittery, but I persevere with it, but I look at the faces of people in the audience and they look like it’s just me and that person in the room, they look transfixed and enjoying themselves (though I have at least one friend who looks really serious and I’ve asked him about it, and it turned out he really was enjoying himself, he just looks like that).

There’s a particular look with some people, it’s all wide-eyed, and smiling, a genuine smile, maybe not moving much, just swaying, in the zone, and it’s wonderful to see.

In this spaces, I then not only start to feeling relaxed, but I can go from feeling really unsure of myself, and nervous, to feeling powerful. I don’t mean that in a big headed way at all, I feel really seen and valid, just for doing something that I enjoy. I love sharing those moments with people, and the crowd doesn’t have to be a big one, actually, this feeling tends to happen more with smaller, more intimate gigs (and I think the intimacy isn’t just about space between me and the audience, it’s about connection between us, through my creative expression).

Who would you most like to collaborate with artistically?

I’m not sure I’ve met them yet, or at least, not someone I haven’t already worked with. I could of course mention a relatively famous musician that I like, but actually I don’t think I want to collaborate with anyone like that. I might end up disappointed, they might turn out to be an asshole, or they might not like me.

If I put it into terms of the kind of person I’d like to collaborate with, then it be more of an organic situation, maybe I jam with them, and it feels right, and we decide to do more. I think whoever it is, I would need to connect with emotionally in some way, someone who shares my values, someone independent, who is also empowering. I think it’d be a bad idea though to work with someone just like me! I don’t want to be ‘Rescued’ but I could do with someone who feels more able to get things done, someone who can let go, and who brings those things out in me.

Really I think it sounds more like dating, musical dating.

Who has been your most influential teacher or mentor?

I’m self taught in everything, so I’ve had no teachers in a musical sense. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone who has really fulfilled the role of mentor either. There have however been people in my life, some who have been musicians, some who haven’t, who have been very supportive and empowering. I don’t want to name anyone specific though.

Have you ever taught or mentored another musician?

Yes. I’ve taught a couple of people to play drums, not as a job, but because I liked them and/or they really wanted me to, and I love empowering other people’s creativity.

I am generally happy to help young musicians, I love it when I meet someone who has a passion to unlock their creativity, particularly when it’s with something new, and with music.

What was your worst performance?

Not sure. Again it’s probably down to describing what a bad performance is like. Though really I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad performance. What I’ve had are bad experiences. For example, the whole pay-to-play thing that was about more years back, particularly in London. Bad experiences, bad gigs, are where I turn up and no-one really gives a shit, maybe it’s all performative, people going to a gig to be seen, or because their mates or work colleagues decided to. Also crucially it when there’s a promoter who doesn’t really care, there’s no love for music, it’s just going through the motions. These kind of experiences leave me feeling used, shallow, like a mediocre object, a bit like bad sex.

How do you deal with disinterested or unruly audiences?

I don’t. I just do what I do, get out of there, and either put it down to a bad night, or not go back. I always do my best, and that’s good enough. If people don’t like it, fuck ‘em.

If it’s really unruly though, it depends. I’ve been playing bars when fights have broken out, well, I say fights but it’s usually a couple of young men who mostly look like they are aggressively hugging each other.

I was in a bar in Hackney, London (I think), and playing with a group of musicians. We noticed a youngish lad pick up a chair, maybe take a swing at someone (and miss). There’s a kind of ridiculous drunken dance that drunken men do, they may look physically big but lumber about with all the grace of an overgrown 3 year old who has eaten too many sweets. The rest of the band wanted to stop playing, me on the other hand thought it’d be better to carry on and liven things up by providing a kind of theme tune to this bad Saturday soap opera fight. I think the guy who was wrestling the other one, might have been his dad. The drunk lad was forced out of the bar, and they locked everyone in, while the idiot started banging on the glass window as the band played on.

Do you prefer to work alone or collaboratively?

It depends. If I’m recording then sometimes I need to be alone, I get into the zone, and don’t want interruptions. Actually I probably do generally work better alone or with one or two other people when recording. Recording with larger bands can be in interesting experience, there’s that whole camaraderie with going into a recording studio, but it can soon get tiring, especially sitting around while people do take-after-take, and really, I think I’m just getting too old for it.

If I’m gigging, then there are pros and cons with both being on my own, or being with others. Firstly there’s the whole thing of getting to a gig, which depending on my setup, could be more physically demanding if I’m on my own (but then I set up my solo project in such a way as to be able to do this relatively easily). If there’s a band, it might be easier with carrying stuff, and transport, but then there’s parking, sharing a car, loading everything up, heavy amplifiers etc. So I think in that respect I prefer doing things alone.

When actually performing, when band works really well together, it can be amazing, it’s really nice to bounce off each other musically, if I’m on my own though I have a lot more control, and can hold a lot more power. Improvising can feel less restrained. However, it can also feel like too much responsibility, and I don’t always feel comfortable with being the sole centre of attention.

What are your favourite venues to perform at?

I’ve done some festivals, fairly small stages but with a moving crowd of maybe 1,000 people, using a sunny day. I’ve played to about 800 people indoors. Mostly for gigs though, it’s the 150–200 capacity venues. Then there are the pub gigs, set up at the side of the bar, that I grew up with. Then open mic nights, which are similar. Then some odd little gigs, such as in the middle of the woods, or I’ve even play in a restaurant.

Out of the best experiences of though, I find it difficult to find a favourite, but I think it’s probably the smaller pub gigs, it really depends on the crowd though. I’m really not keen on the whole middle-aged white blokes in a pub playing 12 bar blues and other standards thing. I grew up with that, and I as a Queer, trans woman, even if people are ‘nice’, it’s not a safe space for me. So I think my favourite venues are the ones that might have an audience of 20 people, or an audience of 200 people, but most people are Queer in some way. Certainly I would like the audience to at least accept my existence as a trans woman, but preferable be welcoming to me. Importantly, fuck misogyny, and racism, and ableism, and transphobia, and homophobia and so forth.

What inspires you as an artist?

People, relationships, authentic connections, love, heartbreak, grief, loneliness, anger, emotions in general (but I tend to be least inspired by hate, I don’t want that in my music). Water, the sea, the ocean, the tide. The horizon. Fields, trees, a deep dark forest. Fire. The sun, and the moon. The ground beneath my feet. The unknown. Diversity. Being in the moment, or just being. Queerness. Femininity. Feminism. Beauty (but I often see beauty where others may see ‘imperfection’). Spirituality. Sensation. Sensuality. Sex. Intimacy.

How do you nurture your own creativity?

By feeding my soul, which I don’t do enough. By finding space within myself, those times when the dark clouds of anxiety and depression have lifted. By feeling love, by being in love, but also by feeling my sadness, and my grief. By crying more.

Do you have trouble with performance anxiety?

Yes. I generally have trouble with anxiety though! If anything, when a performance works well, I am less anxious.

Mostly I think the anxiety is pre gig nerves. My brain can get messy, particularly with setting up equipment, or working out my space on stage. I have reduced the problem somewhat over the years, partly by getting rid of effects pedals and amplifiers, using an iPad with presets I’ve made beforehand. If I do struggle with setting up equipment, I find talking to myself out loud works best.

What are your favourite musical genres, and are there any you dislike?

The word “genre” can be a bit problematic and misleading I think. I could say rock, but then there’s a huge amount of rock music I don’t like. I was very aligned with the psychedelic rock, and psych rock scene years back, but that’s also a wide spectrum of bands and artists.

A lot of people from that scene moved more into “Shoegaze”, but how that’s defined I’m unsure of and it was originally a derogatory name from a music journalist. I think perhaps there is a Shoegaze sound, it’s usually guitar based, maybe loads of hall style reverb, perhaps a flanger (or maybe phaser) effect, jangly sounding, maybe without using an amp (for recording), and washed out vocals with a load of effects on.

Goth is another interesting example. It’s not a music genre, it’s more of a sub culture, and I am more aligned with the original Goth (music) scene I think, which probably came along with or out of post-punk. I love Siouxsie & The Banshees, The Cure, Sisters Of Mercy, Bauhaus and a few others, but there’s no single defining sound, more a ‘dark’ attitude, dark clothes (lots of black, and purple) and makeup. Cocteau Twins, one of my favourite bands, were very popular with the earlier Goths, and the first few albums, particularly the first album, “Garlands”, is very emotionally dark, but these days perhaps Cocteau Twins are more often talked about as being “Dream Pop” or even Shoegaze. A lot of the Psych Rock stuff that happened in the 2000s, rather than being the colourful happy psychedelic sound of the late 1960s, was very Goth sounding to me.

I dislike the label “Indie”, it was supposed to just mean independently distributed music, but became synonymous with certain types of guitar based bands. I find a lot of bands, just boring, generic, and soulless.

Metal? I was very into Heavy Metal as a teenager, I particularly loved Iron Maiden, but I sometimes try to listen to stuff like that, and it feels nostalgic but doesn’t really please me, and I can’t listen for long. Except perhaps the album Killers, and a few songs off the first album. There’s a lot of metal that makes me cringe now. I don’t really like the metal guitar sound, I actually find it boring, generic, and in some ways, it sounds too nice. I got into some Thrash metal, I actually used to enough listening to Metallica’s “And Justice For All” album, despite the really weird, bass lacking production.

However, I love Black Sabbath. The first band to be called “Metal”, especially the first five and half albums (I class Sabotage as being half a good album, but it has some great classic Sabbath songs on it, particularly Hole In The Sky, and Symptom Of The Universe). I also like some later Sabbath, including Heaven & Hell (Ronnie James Dio on the vocals). My love of Black Sabbath has stayed with me. However, although they are known as a Metal band, really, they started off as a Blues based band, or even Jazz influenced, particularly with Bill Ward’s drumming, but also Tony Iommi’s solos.

In the 1990s I got massively into what some call “Trip Hop”. As a label for that whole, downbeat, lazy sounding, Bristol, hip hop, jazz and dub influenced sound, it was hated by the artists, and there were so few of them as to be able to class it as a genre. I have always loved Massive Attack, even through it’s evolution (though not so keen on 100th Window). When I first heard anything from Mezzanine, I was in my room, and I heard the sound of Elizabeth Fraser’s voice, against this Massive Attack beat, coming from a passing van, and the hairs on my arms and back of my neck stood on end, it was like the heralding of some beautiful apocalypse. Tricky’s first album, Maxinquaye, is still an outstanding album, though for me, it’s mostly Martina Topley-Bird’s vocals that make it (though I think one of the tracks is Alison Goldfrapp and it’s also excellent). The band (or collective?) that I probably fell most in love with though, was Portishead. I think some time in 1994 a friend gave me a pirated copy of their first album, Dummy, and it resonated with me deeply on an emotional level, it also feels so unique, there was, and perhaps has never been, anything like it. It (but also their other two distinctly different albums) remains a massive influence on me musically.

Over the past few years I’ve been listening to a lot more Jazz. Again, this is such a wide genre though, and I think I’ve got more into the late 1960s and early to mid 1970s Jazz sound. I did have a copy of Miles Davies Live Evil years ago though, which I love, but more lately I have got into Alice Coltrane, Pharoah Saunders and others. I think it’s been appealing to me more, but it can create an emotional response in me, but it’s not so attached to memories, sadness, and grief.

Indian classical music I can enjoy a lot, for a similar reason, but like Jazz, I think I like the non typically western structures, the freeform nature of the music, which can flow and take me somewhere.

How do you differ from most other artists?

I am Queer, trans, neuro divergent, and have probably have some fairly unusual lived experiences.

Maybe that is not what was meant by the question, however, these things are important, they are uncommon things about me, and affect how I feel about myself and the world, and this heavily colours the music I make.

How do you think your previous bandmates would describe you?

It really depends on who you ask.

On the whole, probably words like “intense”, “dark”, “moody” would come up. Some people may call me an asshole (I’ve only ever fired someone once though). Some people will have had a difficult time with me sometimes, perhaps awkward, and single-minded. Some people will have had an easy time with me, sometimes. Generally I think most people would see me as being a creative force, organised, and brilliant at jamming. Some people might even call me a genius. Though I really never felt comfortable with that at the time, and thought they might be taking the piss, but apparently not.

Copyright © 2026 Siobhán Sarelle